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  And then a moment later, his elbow wasn't there, because he had broken into a jog, trying to catch the attention of someone who had just come out of the classroom on our left.

  Ms. Cabral.

  Denise Cabral, young, pretty, and everyone's most favorite history teacher ever. Someone Quin had apparently been spending a lot of time with, not that he bothered to mention it to me. She was just a handful of years older but I might as well have been a child compared to her, as my achievements paled next to her traveling and studying and philanthropy. She wasn't that much prettier (than me), or taller, or more shapely, but something about the way she walked, that twenty-something walk of hers...

  Ugh.

  He caught up with her just a few feet away from me, so I could hear everything they said, and I was stuck there not knowing whether to join them or not.

  "Are we on for tonight?" Quin asked her.

  "I don't think so," Ms. Cabral said. "Traffic's going to be really bad."

  "I'm driving, don't worry."

  "I'll think about it."

  "What time's your last class?"

  "You don't think I have other plans?"

  "I'll pick you up at five."

  "I'm not free at five."

  "I'll pick you up at five."

  At this point I fixated on a smudge on the tip of my right shoe. I just kept looking it, poking the concrete with it, trying to get the dirt out.

  Unbelievable. It was like my dream scenario for February 14 was happening, except I was in another universe and I was seeing it happen to someone else right in front of me. They did that banter thing for a few more minutes, and then it seemed like they were saying goodbye. I couldn't help it; I peeked.

  Ms. Cabral was smiling as she walked away. Great.

  Quin sort of whirled around, checking for me, and then motioned for me to catch up.

  "Did anyone summon for you just now?" he asked.

  "Yeah, sort of," I said. Hannah Maquiling. She needed the Goddess of Love just then.

  Chapter 4

  I was so glad that I agreed to this Valentine's Day movie date with my best friend Sol. We had planned this months ago, way before there was any doubt or drama over Robbie and Quin. Sol's favorite romance novel of all time, something called Day of Hearts by Filipino author Ivy Mira Alonzo, was made into a movie, and we made a pact to see it on Valentine's Day, whether we had boyfriends at the time or not.

  It worked out, because Soledad Delloro, my best friend, just recently broke up with her boyfriend Neil. I unfortunately had something to do with that. Neil had inexplicably picked up the power to command people (and gods, or interim goddesses) to do his bidding, and he became a concern for our resident deities. We only got to know about it because he spent the first few months of his new empowered state conning and robbing people. He obviously wasn't aware he could do so much more.

  But we (I) handled that problem. He was still in school, but under the watchful eye of beings more powerful than me.

  "I think you should go out with Robbie," Sol was saying, settling into her seat. "And not because Quin says you should. But do you really like him, like anyway?"

  "Yes I do," I said, right after I checked the rows behind us if anyone we knew was there. But yeah, I did like Robbie, a lot.

  My only problem with him, really, is that I was so sure he loved me. Would I love him the same way if he were unreadable to me? Would I be as comfortable, as confident in his feelings, if I could only go by his words and actions?

  I couldn't tell. But Robbie was hot, too. It wasn't a looks thing.

  "Then do it!"

  "How are you though?" I asked. The breakup was less than two weeks ago, and I didn't try to ask too much about her. Sol, strangely, was what Quin called "immune" to us—meaning she could not be affected by any of our divine powers. Not her controlling boyfriend's, not mine, not Quin's—only Bathala, Quin and everyone's father, could influence her in any way. I hadn't even told her I was Interim Goddess yet. Not on purpose, but after a few months I didn't know how to bring it up without sounding crazy. But her not knowing anything about this was a relief, because that meant she and I could be best friends like normal people.

  "I saw him yesterday, and he really tried to avoid me," Sol sighed. "It's so weird."

  "He's ashamed and stuff. Don't feel sorry for him."

  "I'm not... I just miss him."

  "I hope you enjoy this movie then."

  "Oh no, this movie won't help."

  "What are you talking about?" I asked. "I thought this was a feel-good romcom!"

  She gave me a look. "It's not! I've talked about Day of Hearts like dozens of times. You never paid attention? You never even looked at the summary thingy on the book I gave you?"

  "I didn't know there'd be a test!" I retorted. "Here I thought I was going to have some mindless fun with you. What is this about?"

  Sol rolled her eyes. "It's about the Philippine god of the sun discovering that this beautiful artist-social worker living in modern day Manila might be the reincarnation of his great love, so he becomes human again to try and reunite with her! I wrote papers about this for school! Do you not read anything I send you?"

  So it went like this: Mikey Jones Curtis, one of the top three hottest movie stars under thirty, was playing Apo, God of the Sun. The movie started with a scene in what seemed like heaven, all fluffy clouds and white columns. It looked really cheesy onscreen, but I remembered my own goddess dreams where I seemed to be impossibly high up... Maybe there was something to it.

  And then for reasons that I never fully grasped, Apo was participating in the Philippine revolution, fighting alongside kickass warrior woman Maria. She ended up dying in one of the battles, and there was awkward crying and yelling "Nooooo!" into the heavens, but he managed first to tell her that she will live again and he would find her.

  And then it was the twenty-first century, and I was looking at the story of a saintly provincial teacher/sculptor/singer Anna Rosa (played by ingenue Trinalee Tesoro, who couldn't convince me that she had created anything beautiful with clay in her life). Apo was convinced that she was Maria reincarnated, so he turned human and, as Arturo, put himself back into her life.

  They taught rural children ABCs. And ran in the rain. And then she revealed that she was engaged to someone else, her childhood sweetheart, who was working as a nurse in New Jersey. He almost gave up, maybe because he didn't think he was better than a nurse in New Jersey, but she chose him anyway. In the rain.

  Then they got married. It was a lavish wedding and they laughed and kissed and rode a horse-drawn carriage.

  Throughout the two and a half hours of it, I couldn't help thinking that Mikey Jones Curtis did not look like the God of the Sun at all.

  "Oh my god," I said, when the lights came back on. "This is your favorite novel ever?"

  Sol was blinking at the screen still. "They changed it."

  "What did they change to make it bad, everything?"

  She couldn't hit me of course, so she instead grabbed my bag, sitting right there on my lap, and shook it. "It was really romantic and tragic and... there was no wedding."

  "Well this was a wedding, with horses."

  "They ruined it," Sol wasn't even talking to me at this point. She was muttering her own disappointment to herself. "How hard is it to stick to the story? They have tragic endings in soap operas all the time..."

  "I want chocolate," I said. "And you should buy it for me."

  The mind-blowing thing about this? I didn't realize that Sol was an expert on Philippine deities all along.

  "I'm not an expert," she insisted, as we sat down to have the oily but justified katsu dinner that she insisted on paying for. I was so glad she had the presence of mind to reserve a table, because so many couples apparently thought fried Japanese food was romantic.

  Sol continued, "I just got into it a bit in high school because I really loved that book. Read some myths, and books about myths..."

  "You know more th
an I did. I mean, do. I do," I said. "So... is this actually a thing? This story about the Sun God falling in love with a mortal?"

  "Well, that part is a bit hazy," Sol said. "I don't think I actually found a good reference with that particular story with that much detail. But I just assumed that Ivy Mira Alonzo just filled in the blanks with fictional stuff."

  "So we have no evidence that the Sun God's One True Love is a teacher-social worker in the province somewhere?"

  She gave me a look. "Are you making fun of me? Because I loved the book and all, but I don't think it's real. I'm not crazy."

  "Of course," I said, blinking. And I lost another moment when I could have told Sol about me.

  "So tell me how the movie should have been done," I generously offered her that opening. "And tell me about the other gods too."

  Sol was all too happy to give me a list.

  She told me, first of all, that she wished the God of the Sea had more screen time. In the movie he was portrayed as nothing more than an extra in the "heaven" or somewhere scenes, but Sol said that he actually figured more in the book. Aman, the God of the Sea, long held a grudge against Bathala for forbidding his own love affair with a mortal.

  "...and he vowed to spend eternity preventing Apo from ever finding his mortal love."

  What the...

  "Did he?" I managed to squeak.

  So this Sun God loving a regular girl thing, it was a story I'd heard before. In fact, I had heard it right from the mouth of the God of the Sea himself, currently walking around as Diego Simon, senior, basketball varsity, and Quin's best friend. While Quin ruled over the order of things, and I handled love (at least the few issues I could actually deal with), Diego was the god you summoned if you needed help with work, and journeys.

  Diego was not like Quin. He was, well, he actually showed emotions.

  He was also my first kiss. The non-dream-state kind.

  Not that anything was ever going to really happen between us. It was a one-time thing, and strangely enough, work-related.

  Also, Diego was not my type. He yelled a lot, got into fights. Quin would restrain him when he got out of control, and in fact I actually thought they must have been brothers or something, the way Quin tolerated Diego's behavior. It definitely seemed like Quin was older-brotherly in that relationship.

  It didn't look like they had this long-standing grudge.

  And then I remembered that they had an old fight over something. They didn't want to tell me what it was.

  I mean, you think I'd read up on the old gods when I got this gig, and I tried, but life got in the way. And also, any books that would have helped me were missing from the Ford River library. I probably should have tried to educate myself more, but I figured that I could just ask the actual gods anything.

  A stupid move. Quin was master of the Not Saying Important Stuff if he felt I didn't need to know it. Diego was more open and liked saying stuff, but could I really trust him? Vowing to spend eternity on a grudge and all? If I had paid attention to the stuff Sol was fangirling about, I would have known more, and earlier.

  It was all hearsay, but what wasn't?

  I just suddenly really really really wanted to hang out with Robbie.

  Chapter 5

  Risk = the fact that a decision is made under conditions of known probabilities (“decision under risk” as opposed to “decision under uncertainty”) (Risk, Stanford Encyclopedia of Psychology)

  Robbie told himself, This is it. You're really going to do this. He had it all planned out.

  If my Tita Carmen (I was living with her while going to Ford River, because her house was nearby) happened to be home when he arrived, he would mention that his mother loved the cupcakes she made that he brought home from last time. He would ask for a recipe, or offer to pay for a dozen if she was into that.

  He would say I looked beautiful in my dress.

  Whatever she happens to be wearing. Just say it.

  He was hoping I'd have my hair down, but he was planning to say he loved my hair "like that" anyway. Whatever it happens to be.

  He would not attempt a cheek kiss in front of my tita.

  He would first take my hand when he escorted me to the passenger side of the car. Just for a few moments, however long it took for me to get in.

  The drive would last less than fifteen minutes, just enough to ask about school, my mom, my tita.

  Dinner was actually going to be at Logan's house. Logan was in his basketball team but was also a culinary arts student, and Logan and his girlfriend Nica were making a four-course dinner for them.

  Appetizer: Coquille Saint Jacques

  Soup: Potage crecy

  Main course: Boeuf bourgignon

  Dessert: Tarte au pommes

  It sounded very French.

  Robbie wanted something simpler but Logan was all, Trust me, bro, she's going to be all over you after this.

  Nica promised she was going to keep him in line.

  Logan would make sure no one else was home, so they'd have the place to themselves. He would set it up so that there would be a small table inside the pool house. Nica would choose the place settings.

  Nothing too cheesy.

  Shut up and let the expert handle it, Robbie. This is not my first romantic dinner.

  They would serve champagne, but not too much, because Logan's dad would notice if an entire bottle were missing. While waiting, Robbie would be ready to tell Emmental apart from Camembert. Just in case. Logan wrote the talking points on index cards.

  During dinner he'd ask about my night out with Sol. And the movie. That he didn't want to watch it, so I could tell him the story without spoiling it for him. He'd ask how Sol was, how she was holding up, and would be ready to reassure me if I ever expressed my doubts again over my role in that breakup.

  You're someone I want on my side, always.

  He'd find a way to say it.

  Logan said he'd have a playlist ready. Violins and shit. Nica would announce that dessert will be served outside, next to the pool. Then they would excuse themselves to start cleaning up.

  He would take my hand. Remind me about his love letter. And depending on my response, kiss me, or hurl himself into the pool.

  He was hoping he could get to kiss me.

  First he would touch my hair, whatever style it happened to be, pretend to push it away from my face. He wanted a hand gently on the side of my face.

  One or two? Just one.

  Short kiss or a long one? Combination. Soft and quick, and then the follow-up would be longer.

  As long as I'd allow.

  I knew this—saw it, felt it, all of it—as soon as he stepped up to my tita's front porch and knocked on my door. Robbie didn't realize it, but when he asked the universe for courage and strength to do this, it was all going to me.

  My power wasn't all that great yet, but over him, and his happiness...

  It looked like a really good date though.

  Seemed like a lot of fun.

  "Hi," I said, as I opened the door for him.

  "Hi," he said, not surprised. He was ready for me possibly opening the door for him. "You look beautiful."

  It sounded familiar and slightly rehearsed, but it was earnest, and genuine. He really did think I was beautiful in this dress and any dress, hair up or down or sideways. He was saying it because he thought I didn't know, that I could only know if he said something.

  Then I realized that this—planning a date, compliments, simply holding someone's hand—they mattered so much because they were all that people had to go on.

  The best thing to do was reciprocate.

  So I let him hold my hand as he helped me into the car. I marveled at Logan's family's beautiful house, and Nica's candles and napkins folded into bird shapes. Appetizer? Perfectly creamy scallop. Soup? Lacked salt, but in the best way. The beef? Tender and just melted in my mouth. Every conversation he started, I was ready for. I told him about Sol's sucky movie and he laughed. He told me about
Risk class, and the paper he was writing, and the big beach party he was invited to, and if I would like to go with him. I said I would, but I'd have to ask my mom, because maybe she was still mad at me for flying off to Naga without telling her. But I would definitely go with him if she let me.

  And then when we were led outside, toward the cute pastries and coffee perched on a tall round table near the pool, I wasn't nervous at all. He was; his thoughts were rushed and uncertain, but he was sure about what he wanted to do.

  I helped him. I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward me. We were close enough that he should recognize this as the Touch Her Hair stage, but it took him a beat to realize it. But he recovered, and went back on script, with the hair, and then the hand against my cheek.

  And then he kissed me. Short kiss.

  And then I kissed him. Long kiss.

  His jumpy thoughts, they slowed. Relaxed. Lingered a bit, enjoying what was happening.

  He kissed me again. Long kiss.

  "I really, really like you, Hannah," he whispered into my ear.

  I didn't see that in his plan. He must have improvised it. It felt good, to be surprised like that.

  "I like you too, Robbie," I said.

  Chapter 6

  I am somewhere.

  I can't tell where.

  There's a familiarity to the place, but I can't...

  ...and there's someone else...

  It's Quin, I am kissing Quin again. In this dream.

  It's a series of kisses, one after another. It's intense. I have trouble breathing and talking.

  We are not trying to talk.

  Okay, I don't care about the breathing even. I'm afraid if I think about it, it'll stop. The goddess—whoever this is, whoever's memory I'm hijacking—might notice.

  Please continue. Don't mind me. I try to look up and away and see clouds, and a shadow on its surface, like graffiti.

  I raise a finger to the sky and trace its shape. I know that shape.

  He is kissing my hand. Like, my palm. I can breathe, and I inhale long and deep. The air is sweet, and pleasant, and clean.